Cry
by DomLuver
Summary: -ONESHOT- Dom makes a mistake, but can he patch things up before it's too late? Or will he finally know what it means to really, truly cry? Read and find out!


**Hey guys! I have this one done! It took me about a month to write this, because of school and just life in general. I hate reality. Grr. Anyways, I would like to thank *takes a deep breath*: **stormofkryptonite, Kari of Mindelan, KrisEleven, triss22, Taya Cara, abyssgirl, Trisana Sarrasri, TheWackedOne, aero13, spazzysassyangel, Clouds of Sapphire, addicted2TPierce, The Last Skylark, Arianna Cullen, Kate of Carlay, Stargirl844, Ally-Marty, pottere1**,**** my friend** Jasmine **and a special thanks to** WAFFLESxARExUS **for reviewing at least once for at least one of my fics. Your reviews brighten up my day! :) Hope you enjoy reading this one! **

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**Cry by Kelly Clarkson**

"I'm sorry Kel" He told me. "It's just that…..I think……we should be able to see other people. It's not you. It's me. I'm so sorry."

I can't believe it. After all the years I've known him, he has _never_ pulled such a cheesy line as the "it's not you, it's me" one. And worst thing was, he used it on _me. _He's breaking up with _me. _Well I have to admit, I never thought we would ever get together….but now that we did….how could he? Am I too muscled for him? Or is it my being a lady knight? This is just not happening. Wake up Kel, wake up. Wake up, cuddled against Dom's chest. I pinched myself. And to my total disappointment, this is _absolutely_ real. Dom was ending it with me. I am a lake. A lake. A lake. _A calm, relaxed lake!_

I must've showed _some_ emotion, because the next he did was ask me if I was alright. Ha! Why wouldn't I be alright? I've just gotten dumped by the one I fell head over heels for. The one I trusted. He was the one I opened up to. And now, after all that, he stands there, telling me he's met some other _girl._ Ugh.

"Just….just leave, Dom. Just – go." And that was all I heard myself say. He left with a glance back, but I ignored it. My eyes were prickling with tears. I turned my head, so he wouldn't see me cry. No. I shouldn't cry. I'm not a delicate court lady. I am a _knight. _I won'tcry over him. I _won't. _

_If anyone asks  
I'll tell them we've both just moved on  
When people all stare  
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk  
Whenever I see you  
I'll swallow my pride, and bite my tongue  
Pretend I'm OK with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong_

You know what's really amazing? How fast gossip travels. When I left my room for supper, I heard the servants, ladies and lords whispering. As I passed them they would fall silent, and then start up again when I was a yard away. What is wrong with these people? Don't they have anything better to do than stick their noses into other people's affairs? Through these thoughts I didn't see where I was going and walked straight into my best friend Neal. He seemed to be in a hurry.

"Ah, Kel. There you are. Come this way. It's very important." He said, turning me the way I had just come. A right, then a left and a right once more. Then it hit me. We were going to the King's study. The question though, is why? I voiced this to Neal, but he didn't know either. We came to the huge door and entered to find Jon, Alanna, Raoul, Daine, Numair, and some other people I didn't recognise all seated around the huge table.

"Lady Kel. We have some news to share. New Hope has been taking quite a few raids in the past week and we are sending you, Neal, Merric and a squad over to help them out for a while." Jon told me. I nodded. Ok, that shouldn't be so bad.

"Sir, which squad is coming with us?" Please not Dom's. Please not Dom's. Please not Dom's. Please not Dom's.

"Dom's" Raoul answered. Damn. I just _had_ to ask didn't I? Everyone seemed to try and avoid my gaze, though Raoul didn't really notice. That's so typical of him. He's always slow in gossip. Alanna whispered something into his ear. "Oh. I'm sorry Kel. I didn't know. Do you want to take a different group? Aiden's free, if you want." Raoul added.

Yes! Anyone but Dom! "No, Raoul." I heard myself say. Well, my mouth seems to think differently. "It's alright. We'll manage."

_Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry  
_

We're leaving the day after tomorrow, at dawn. That means we have a day and a bit to get ready. Supper was unusually quiet, probably because of the tension between Dom and me. After supper I did some wandering. My head was in the clouds, though I don't recall what exactly I was thinking of. All I remember was where my feet took me to. I ended up somewhere in the royal gardens. As I looked around, I recognised the bench, surrounded by red rose bushes, and azaleas. This place held many memories, both good and bad. Along with our first kiss, we also had our first fight, and first make-up here. How is it possible that everything in a relationship revolved around a common garden bench?

I heard voices, and out of instinct, ducked behind a bush and unsheathed two daggers. One voice was one I would never forget. Dom's. The other's belonged to a lady. Her chocolate coloured hair tumbled down to her hips, messily braided. I felt so out of place then, watching Dom wrap his arms around some other girl's waist. Yes, I guess you could say I was jealous. She had a great figure, with curves in all the right places. No wonder he broke it off between us. How could he have resisted this new girl?

Just as things got bad, they got worse. I witnessed a kiss. It wasn't the same as watching Neal and Yuki, or Alanna and George, or Raoul and Buri kiss. This was _Dom_, the man who had courted me for 3 years. But this kiss wasn't between me and him. It was between him and another girl. I couldn't watch. I couldn't stand it any longer. I blinked away a tear, and stole away and quickly and silently as I could.

_If anyone asks  
I'll tell them we just grew apart  
What do I care  
If they believe me or not  
Whenever I feel  
Your memory is breaking my heart  
I'll pretend I'm OK with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong_

A week on the road with the one person you're trying to avoid doesn't really help. Especially when you just saw that person kiss someone else so deeply. It wasn't fair. Why didn't my mouth listen to my brain for once and told Raoul I wanted another squad? Neal and Merric weren't much help either. They just kept trying to figure out what was bothering me. Couldn't they tell? I just want some time to myself, to think about things. Is that too much to ask for?

The rest of the trip was basically the same. Dom would joke with his squad, and sometimes try to talk to me and make sure I was alright. Each time he asked, I told him I was fine, that it was no big deal. But each time, I felt my heart sink deeper. This just couldn't get any worse. Could it? Oh yes it could. As we neared New Hope, raiders attacked us. Peachblossom did a great job, kicking and trampling anyone who got close. But he soon took an arrow in his leg, and I had to manage on foot. Of course, I had my glaive, but I was stunned.

Everything was a blur. All I could see were silver blades swinging, and flashes of blood. I lost track of time, but I felt myself gathering cuts and scratches everywhere. Out of nowhere, I felt a stabbing pain in my abdomen area. I looked down and saw a blade lodged in my stomach. I just received a stomach wound. Remembering some medical facts, stomach wounds are _very_ hard to heal. My vision blurred, but I heard a voice – Dom's – saying my name. I wanted to tell him so much; that I still love him, that I was sorry for whatever had happened that separated me from him, and that I couldn't live without him. But I couldn't. My voice was parched. Trying to talk to him only made me choke, and I felt fluids come out from my mouth. And then I felt myself slowly slip into calm blackness.

_Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry_

I saw her fall. I did. She had received a stomach wound. That usually meant certain death. And knowing her, she won't let Neal heal her. She'd tell him to save his energy for the other patients – the ones he _could_ save. I ran over to her as fast as I could. Why, you ask? Because I love her. Then why did I break up with her? I wasn't good enough for her. I didn't _deserve_ her. She's smart, beautiful and strong. I could never hold a candle to her. Then why is she letting go? "Kel!" I said. My voice was thick with tears, because truly, how can u _not_ cry when one of your best friends and your lover is dying? Just as well Wolset is covering for us, otherwise I would be shredded.

A tear ran down her unusually pale face and her eyes fluttered closed. Forever. I would never see those beautiful dreamy brown eyes stare into my blue ones again. I swear I saw her spirit leave her body, but maybe it's just because of the despair this caused me. I can't even remember what happened next, but I woke up to find myself on a cot staring at the infirmary ceiling with Neal slumped in a chair beside my bed.

"What happened?" I asked him. My voice cracked halfway through the question. My cousin Meathead handed me a canteen of water, which I gulped down greedily. Who knew water could taste this good?

"I was hoping you could answer that," Came the reply. "You were unconscious. Wolset brought you in. he didn't tell me what happened though." Neal seemed worried. "Don't worry, you'll be fine"

Finally my mind caught up with me. "What about Kel?" I asked. He shook his head.

"It was a stomach wound. Nothing can heal that. Well maybe if my father was here, he could probably hep her, but that's beyond my experience. I'm sorry Dom. I know you love her." The last bit startled me.

"What?" I croaked, shocked. How did he know that I still love her? Is it really that obvious? Argh.

"Don't say that. You know what I mean. You still look at her that way. God knows why you left her. You two were perfect for each other. But now you've lost her forever." Without another word, he left to help another patient. _Forever._ The word echoed in my head. How could one word have so much depth? Gods, how am I going to live without her?

_I'm Talking in circles  
I'm lying they know it  
Why wont this just stop go away_

"We are gathered here today to commemorate the death of one of the realm's most famous warriors, Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan. She was a friend, commander, and daughter loved by all….." That's all I heard the Mithran priest say. Was I forgotten already? She wasn't _just _that. She was a lover. She was _my lover_. Mine. But I was stupid enough to let her go.

It's all my fault. If I hadn't….you know…maybe she would've been a bit more…focused. And then she wouldn't be gone and we would still be together. I would wager you that if she could hear me now, she would probably tell me to stop blaming myself because it's not my fault, and that I should stop thinking of "what if's".

Please tell me this is just a terrible nightmare that will never come true. I closed my eyes, pinched myself and opened them, still to see the priest droning on next to Kel's coffin. I can't bear to look at that box. She was all patched up, and dressed up in a russet red gown. I wish she would've worn that dress more often. I loved that dress, but she thought the neckline was too low.

"_I like this one Kel." I told her, holding up the dress at the very back of her closet. _

"_NO! Do I _have_ to wear a dress to this party? And why does it _have_ to be this one?" She protested, pouting. God's she looks so cute when she pouts. _

"_Yes, because you need to pretty up sometimes. And because I like this colour. _

"_I like the colour too, Dom, but the neckline is so_ low!_" she complained. She almost sounded whiny. This is going to be quite fun convincing her. I hugged her waist and whispered in her ear: "I think it's perfect." She shivered and I couldn't help but chuckle. She turned her head and kissed me, oh how I love her kisses! Her lips are so soft….._

I looked around, and saw people staring at me, expecting something from me. The priest motioned for me to go to him. Oh, I almost forgot! I was supposed to make a speech for her. Well, I guess I'll just have to make it an impromptu speech now…

I felt eyes on me as I walked up to the altar. Some people whispered to their neighbours. I turned and cleared my throat "I forgot I was supposed to make a speech, so I'm just going to go from the top of my head now"

_Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets?  
Is this what it feels like to really cry?  
Cry  
Cry_

"That is, if you have a head!" Someone, (probably David, my brother) yelled. The crowd chuckled quietly.

Taking a deep breath, I continued "Kel was a great warrior, and she always stood for what she believed in, whether or not people agreed with her. Her training years were probably hell for her, having to put up with my Meathead of a cousin" I forced myself to smile here, but I could feel my eyes tearing up. "I loved her, and I made a huge mistake in leaving her" I heard a gasp from the audience, but ignored it. I turned to her body and said "Kel, I am _so_ sorry for what went down between us. I hope you forgive me."

I looked back at the rows and rows of people sitting in front of me, and a couple of sparrows, horses, dogs and cats that had found their way to this part of the forest. Even the griffins we met when she was a squire came for this ceremony. We were in the clearing where Kel and I would go for picnics and in summer, we would swim in the pond that was just a short walk away from here.

"Kel made me open my eyes and realise the little things under my nose I would never have seen without her help. Kel taught us to treat everyone equally, and how we would want to be treated ourselves. But most of all, she taught me to love. And love her I did, until that day. I – I was foolish – for letting her go. And, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so selfish when she was so giving." Now the tears made their way down my cheeks. But I don't care. I will keep going. I will tell the world things about Kel that no one knew. "She was – sorry. I – I can't say anymore."

I ran from the altar, and headed straight down the aisle. I have no idea where I was headed, but my feet brought me to the pond. _Our_ pond. "I will never forget you, Kel" I whispered to the air. Just after that, I felt a warm breeze sweep though, tousling my hair and pulling at my black tunic. I could've sworn I heard Kel's voice say "I love you, Dom". I smiled, and sat down against the willow, reminiscing on the days when she _was_ here.

Oh how much I miss her now. I felt more hot tears tumble down, as the memories reached my broken heart.

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**So did you like that? I decided to try writing in first person, but I'm still not so sure if it's the best choice. So feel free to comment and tell me if you like first person better or third person :) **

**I seem to be taking longer in writing, but at least they are longer than they used to be! So that should make up for the time gap :) **

**Also, don't forget to sign the petition if you haven't done so already. Thanks!**

_**http(:)//www(.)gopetition(.)com/online/30539/signatures(.)html**_

**Love always, **

**DomLuver**

**xx mwah**


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